I’ve been living as God’s slave instead of his child–just looking at my most recent history and habits that much is clear. I read my Bible for fear of missing some truth or direction God wants to give me. I go to church because that’s what good Christians do even when I am exhausted and what I really need is a day to just be alone and not do anything scheduled. I volunteer and fill my schedule with ministry opportunities because I feel like that’s what I’m supposed do. I’ve gone on mission trips, not because I felt called but because I thought I should.
I had a dream the other night, one I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. I was at dinner with a group of friends, and when one friend stood to get seconds, he said, “I actually think people lose when they marry in their own league.” Dream-me had turned to him with a … Read more
In many ways this has been a hard week. I’m still struggling to keep my head above water. There’s always so much to do and I’ve been exhausted. But the week has been good too. I’ve seen improvements in myself and my students. I feel like I’m starting to understand the lingo at school and … Read more
I was tied up in knots. Nothing new, but it was getting irritating. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t get out of that place, why I felt like I wasn’t measuring up, why I felt like I was failing. I thought I should have better control of my thoughts, that those emotions shouldn’t be here. … Read more
I’m really good at daydreaming. It’s a talent that can keep my mind busy for hours. Often my daydream of choice deals with this relationship I’m waiting for, the wedding, what marriage will be like, and the season of courtship. I like thinking about the little things he might do to show me that he … Read more