You’ve been feeling it again, haven’t you? That same old wound still pulsing. You try to bury it. How many hours have you spent praying, writing it in your journal, talking about this hurt? How many times have you just tried to stuff it recently because you’re just plain sick and tired of rehashing the same things? How many times have you nodded and forced a smile when people ask if you’re okay? You can only imagine what they’d say if you told them the truth. “That’s still bugging you? I think it’s time to move on. Just let it go.”
Easier said than done.
You’ve asked God what is wrong with you? Shouldn’t any normal person be able to move on from this? But He only smiles in that understanding sort of way and reminds you that He’s still here and He knows.
He understands the muck sitting in the deep parts of your heart you haven’t wanted to deal with, the muck you’re not even sure how to explain.
He understands your frustration with not being able to move on.
He knows your triggers and how certain conversations and situations send you over the edge.
He knows your limits and He knows your heart.
He knows that you want to get over it, but for some reason He’s just allowing you to walk through this painfully long process of letting go and letting Him heal you.
Some wounds just go deep. And it doesn’t matter how much you talk about it or don’t talk about it, it’s still there. You try to fix it, try to stuff it and move on, but that won’t lead to wholeness. True healing will only come if you let Jesus pull back the layers and heal you. True healing only comes when you let Him fill you, when you let Him be enough.
I know that’s been a struggle too–letting God be enough. There’s so much vying for your attention, so much you want out of this life. And all He wants is you, your heart–bruised and broken as it is. He just wants you, dear heart.
Jesus welcomes you as you are. No masks, no layers, no walls needed. You can come with your guts hanging out, you can come messy and feeling unwanted. You will never be too much for Him. Your mess is never a burden to Him. He loves you! You are of great value!
Sometimes we just need reminded of that in the midst of our mess. We may feel too messed up, but Jesus taps us on the shoulder and reminds us that He’s still here and He’s not going anywhere. He’ll get us through.
Whatever your wound–whether loneliness, addiction, the feeling of failure, fear, abandonment, grief–God is with you. He sees and He knows and He loves. Let Him walk you through this. It will probably take some time, but accept His grace and just keep going. Also, ask Him to show you the difference between His truth and the devil’s lies. It’s so easy to get caught up in things that are not true. The devil’s purpose is to destroy us, but Jesus’ purpose is to build us up and make us whole–to give us life. Let Him lead you, dear heart. Let Him help you sort through all those things playing over and over in your head. Trust in His ways and stay close. He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Live in His Love!
Photo by Andrea Williamson